For Dads | How to Take Care of Baby Without Mommy | The Alatan’s: Episode 10

There’s been a lot going on in the past few weeks, hence such a long hiatus from uploading videos.
This video is intended to steer other dads in a good direction when they have to take care of their baby alone. I’m not a professional dad yet, but I’m working on it. Of course, this isn’t a truly serious how to video, so take the “advice” with a grain of salt. 


[Dad] Just Relax

I just wanted to share one of my experiences that will stick with me forever.

I had a set of bad days at work. You know those … busy, stressful, soul shattering shifts. After a few of these days, I had began thinking about strategies to manage my stress. My mind raced through late night workouts, Belgian beers, and fatty food. Basically any form of coping.

Then, my mind wandered to the baby…

What if he’s cranky when I get home? I wasn’t sure if I would be able to handle that situation. 

I kept going back and forth about asking my wife for a couple of hours just to myself before jumping in to help out with the baby.

It’s really selfish but how effective would I be as a father trying to help out while completely burned out?

Maybe there’s a beer in the fridge. 

Maybe there’s photos to edit. 

What YouTube videos could I watch?

If I went to the gym after work there wouldn’t be many hours to help out. What if she had a busy day herself? I need to help out if that was the case. 

Did she have a bad day?

I miss them. 

She says their doing well. 

Maybe I’ll just wait until I get home before asking my wife so that I could gauge how she is doing in person. 

I eventually got home, late, of course. I walked into sounds of baby noises. My wife was cradling our baby. They were having a full on conversation. Minus several consonants and vowels. I couldn’t help but smile. I asked how their day was. She responded, “it was good.” I asked baby how his day was and he just smiled.

Suddenly, I didn’t need that late night workout or that beer.

I held him and then only thing on my mind was that I missed them.

Raising our child is definitely challenging and takes a lot of work, but if I could be a stay at home dad, I would.

[Dad] Working on it

Two weeks ago, I did something that I had been avoiding for over two months. It was something that I had hoped I wouldn’t have to face for a while longer.

I went back to work.

I decided to write down how I was feeling throughout the day:

0645I would definitely rather be at home feeding the baby at this time.

0930: I feel the same as earlier but at least I’m starting to re-acclimate to my work environment.

1200: I’m glad my work day is going well but a single text or picture from my wife makes me miss being home again.

1500: I’m getting more comfortable with work, but again, the messages from home… 😥

1900: I’m so happy to wrap up at work and start heading home.

Eventually, I got through my first set of shifts but I was most surprised about how I felt after a couple of weeks of work.

I felt… disconnected.

I would come home from a long work day to a crying baby that I couldn’t get a read on anymore. I used to just hold my baby while he was crying to get a decent idea of what he needed. Instead I was filled with confusion and frustration.

So what now?

My wonderful wife told me to spend more time with my baby. 

It’s simple but it worked. Just being with baby throughout the day, during my days off, helped me feel much more connected. When I worked, I only had, approximately, an hour to and hour and a half to spend with baby, leaving my experience completely up to his mood. In the evening, more often than not, he wasn’t in a good mood. I envy those who work from home. Unfortunately, that’s not a possibility for me. My option is to continue working as I am and to try and spend meaningful time with my baby on my days off. I’m sure the connection with my baby will continue to strengthen but it was very disheartening to feel so disconnected.

I’m not sure if any other dads share or have shared my experience. I can’t speak for anyone else but it seems like the solution (at least my solution) is to simply spend time with your baby. Spend time with him or her and mean it.